I’m a YouTube Celebrity!

Saturday night I was out with some friends and this man approached me. Granted, this is not something strange; people approach me all the time..and let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want to? I’m hot. However, he was giving me the crazy eye and started acting a lot more forward than even I am used to, so I stared right back at him and said, “Umm, what?”

“I know you! I’ve see you online! You’re with the P! Company!“

My suspicion from old-guy-hitting-on-me-at-bar quickly faded into omg-i’m-famous. I chatted with him about my history with the P! Company briefly and then returned to my friends and a much larger ego. Today, the ‘P’ stands for Petruzzo, but originally it stood for ‘Presentoklyok’ – a non-sensical word formed from those block letters people put in their homes to make it seem ‘rustic’ and ‘thematic.’ My mom always loved: “Bless this house” and “Welcome Friends.” Gag. 

I digress, the P! Company was me and my friends messing around making videos in junior high. Today, Andy and Kyle have finished degrees in RTF and have taken their video production/editing skills to impressive levels. The ‘Friend’ video we made was just a sampling of what they can do, and I was happy for the opportunity to help them with it. You should check out their site, it’s funny stuff.

Being recognized in a bar for a video that has 99 hits on YouTube is a far cry from stardom, but it reminded me of what I’m working towards and was the motivation I needed to be on the lookout again for some new auditions. 

Here’s the F*RI*E*N*D video that the guy saw online:

Bed Bugs

In college I slept in a taco-bed. It was a full size mattress that permanently folded down the center. No matter where you slept, in the morning, you’d wake up dead center. God forbid someone else sleep in the bed with you…it always made things either really cute or really awkward in the mornings- and seeing as this was in College Station, things were mostly awkward.

After I moved to Austin and got my first “real” job as a call center operations analyst level I, my boyfriend at the time began to suggest I buy a new bed. As dutifully as the taco-bed had served me throughout my sentence at Texas A&M, it was time to say goodbye. Sensible people would buy a new mattress and call it a day; but, the combination of the new job and the indulgent lifestyle of the bf, I settled for a modest tempur-pedic king size mattress and a Crate and Barrel bed with a canopy top.

 In the four years that I’ve had this monstrosity, it’s been a curse and a blessing. It’s been a blessing in the sense that I’ve clocked hundreds of hours of blissful sleep- free of tossing and turning, people rolling on top of me (sigh), and back aches. However, this thing has been moved four times, nearly gave my dad a stroke trying to move it down the hall, and I’m pretty sure there have been a few guys that dated me just so they could sleep over. 

While I do enjoy the bed, I feel it is a lasting, expensive, symbol of the person I was on a trajectory of becoming. My life was set to be a bland repeat of watching the History Channel every night and washing the car. A crystal ball would have shown the most exciting of days to include buying a new coffee maker or getting the latest J. Crew catalogue in the mail. Since that point in my life, I’ve moved on to a few more stimulating things…yet the bed remains a reminder of when those things were almost a reality.

As things continue to shape for me, the symbolic nature of the bed is becoming a mixture of two worlds. The decadent bed will always represent to some degree little 20-year-old Michael, seeking to impress his first boyfriend and live a life of material possessions. But in four years, the people who have slept in that bed (this is not subtext) have shaped me into the individual I am today. Without getting too cheesy, the friends, lovers, neighbors, family members, and strangers that have slept in the bed have shaped me for the better.

I walked into my bedroom about an hour ago to see the scene in the picture below (and please note I realize how creepy it is that I took a picture of my friends sleeping in my bed). 

There have been numerous people that have crossed paths with this bed. If you have an interesting story/memory- add it to the comments.

—-more updates from a creative front later—-

Mary Lane, uhhhhhhhhh

Audition recap-

Show: Evil Dead the Musical

Audition song: Mary Lane/ Mary Jane from Reefer Madness 

Side: Scene 5

Yesterday was my first audition for a musical. 24 hours later still no call back, but I think just going through the motions is what is important. Things started out as a series of unfortunate events. The rain in Austin caused my 20 minute drive to turn into a 1:15 minute drive, so I showed up 20 minutes late. I was quickly put into a group and ushered into a room. We all gave the pianist our music, lined up, and sang. 

I sorta sang. For some reason I choked on my song. I got through the first line, stumbled over the second, and couldn’t quite recover. I finished and was so happy it was just over. Then the director asked me to re-sing the last part for him. That was my glimmer of hope, but alas. I’m going to assume that since he asked me to sing again, that my voice isn’t nearly as bad as it may have seemed in the last video.

I read the side, collected my things, and drove to UT campus to see Wicked. It was the third time I’d seen the show annnnd it kind of lost it’s magic. Since the last time I saw it (Chicago, 2007), I have seen substantially more Broadway shows. I enjoyed it, but it was one of the only times I left a show not feeling jazzed about musicals.

Good thing though – I’m on the search for something else to audition for. I have a feeling a plethora of Christmas shows will be posted soon that I can look into auditioning. I’m going to look into getting a vocal coach in Austin as well. Anyone know of a good one? 

As I was leaving the audition, I told the girl in front of me that she did a good job. She smiled and said, “Thanks, you have a really pretty voice.” I laughed and made a joke about only sounding OK when I can remember the words. Without a beat she respond, “Oh, don’t worry about it, you’re cute. People are gonna love you.” From what I could tell, my singing wasn’t atrocious and my looks are decent. I need some more polish and I’ll get this.

Me, a name I call myself.

I neglected to mention that I have a scheduled audition next week for Evil Dead the musical. I’m kind of excited because of the significance of that movie. It’s a campy, low-budget horror movie that I actually saw when I was in high school. My friend Drew was obsessed with it and made us all watch it. Bruce Campbell is a chainsaw wielding demon-slayer. Sign me up. 

I read some stuff on the actual musical version of the show. It comes complete with a “splash zone” where the first several rows of audience members get doused in fake blood. 

So, in preparation for this, I need to figure out what the hell I’m doing – singing-wise. First things first, determine my vocal range. I have a keyboard at home so I spent some time banging on that thing until I could definitively say what low and high notes I could hit…not saying that they were good notes, but I could hit them. 

Soon I’ll have some music that I can rehearse for the audition. Suggestions? Tips? Let me know! More to come!

Male Vampire Model (Austin Area)

While I was considering leaving my job for the thrills of a professional escort on Craigslist, I stumbled upon the ‘gigs’ section of the site. The breakdown of ‘gigs’ ranges from casting calls for community theater to porn shoots, but also modeling jobs. I clicked through a few ads and one in particular caught my eye- Male Vampire Model. 

I’m not ashamed to admit that I got caught up in the whole Twilight craze, but my vampire story started long before that. I have very sharp canines. People always comment on them at bars and always say the inevitable, “OMG, you look like a vampire.” Most people would think that’s hot and use it to their full advantage. In true Michael form though, it makes me very self-conscious.

Back in 2003, when I was a fledgling young homosexual, I ventured out of my apartment to meet some people I barely knew at a party. As I approached the door the thump of music grew louder and louder. “My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard….” Dear god, I knew at that moment I was in trouble, if for no other reason, because that stupid song would be seared into my memory six years later.  So I go into the party and talk to my ‘friend.’ He told me to get a drink, so I went over to the keg to get a beer.

I was definitely a late bloomer in the drinking department and this keg contraption thoroughly confounded me. I had my cup and stood in front of it with confused confidence. As foam filled the cup a particularly nasty queen came up to me and said, “you’ll get booed out of the valley if anyone sees the way you did that,” and then walked away.

Stunned by the hit and run, I took my cup-o-foam and leaned against the wall. 2 sips and 15 steps and I was done with this party. As I moved across the room to make my escape this giant who resembled a combination of Mr. Clean and the Jolly Green Giant stopped me dead in my tracks. Awkward introductions followed and he began explaining who everyone at the party was. “….and that’s Steven, he’s my boyfriend.” 

I glanced over at this guy, standing in a big group of people, staring lasers through me. “Steven loves your teeth. He has a biting fetish.” I stare at him wondering where this is going. “Can you pretend you’re a vampire and bite his neck and ears? He’d love it!” I politely declined and made a B-line for the door.

That was my first experience in the gay world, I was asked to be a vampire. It terrified me and is why when people approach me at a bar and compliment my sharp fangs, I give a tight-lipped smile.  Six years later, this Craigslist ad catches my eye, and I figure it’s time to face my personal vampires and give it a shot. There’s nothing to be scared of, I am no longer fledgling. 

The only logical thing to do to overcome this is to impress upon ‘Ben’ that I’d make a great vampire and see if he wants me for his photo shoot.

So I sent this:

“The project sounds interesting. Allegedly vampires are the new thing, and I’d love to stretch my ‘Twilight’ legs. Edward Cullen was absurdly beautiful AND sparkling…I could do that…maybe without the sparkles though…ok, I’m fine with sparkles. I’m sure more questions will come up, but I’ll send you a couple of pics first to make sure I’ll fit the look you’re going for. I’m sending you my best vampire-y pictures and my best ‘Michael in a field of bluebonnets’ picture.” 

Maybe I’ll give being a vampire a shot – Rpatz eat your heart out.

resolve.

Decided to take a step in a direction that I’ve talked about for a while now… 

I’ve been in a particularly artsy mood lately and had a major revelation last week.

Piano and writing – they are great to pursue. Truly, they are things I will get a rhythm for and eventually excel. However, there’s no risk. I can sit away in my room and play and mess up or rewrite or never finish forever. No one there to see. No one to judge. I want the risk. It’s what makes it worth it. I want to contribute to something that moves others – whether it makes them laugh, or cry, or change their minds about some topic. 

So resolve. I have resolved to pursue a show until I get cast in something. To keep things moving along, I’ll put up here what’s going on – the fruits of my labor and when I fall on my face.